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What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction is a condition characterized by an individual’s persistent and escalating pattern of sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviours that become overwhelming and disruptive to their daily life and relationships. These behaviours may include excessive pornography consumption, masturbation, casual sex, or seeking out multiple sexual partners.
People with sex addiction often experience a lack of control over their sexual impulses, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and distress. They may spend significant amounts of time and money on sexual activities, neglecting responsibilities, work, or family obligations in the process. Despite negative consequences, such as relationship problems, legal issues, or health risks, individuals with sex addiction find it challenging to stop their behaviour.
Like other addictions, sex addiction can stem from various factors, including biological, psychological, and environmental influences. Trauma, negative childhood experiences, mental health disorders, and substance abuse can contribute to the development of sex addiction. Treatment typically involves therapy, support groups, and sometimes medication to address underlying issues, manage impulses, and develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with sexual urges. Recognizing and addressing sex addiction is essential for individuals to regain control of their lives and foster healthier relationships.
How do I know if I am a sex addict?
Recognizing if you have a sex addiction can be complex, as it involves understanding the impact of your sexual behaviours on your life and relationships. Here are some signs that may indicate you have a sex addiction:
Loss of Control: You find it challenging to control or stop your sexual behaviours despite negative consequences such as relationship problems, legal issues, or health risks.
Preoccupation: You spend a significant amount of time thinking about, planning, or engaging in sexual activities to the point where it interferes with your daily life and responsibilities.
Escalation: Over time, you find yourself needing more extreme or risky sexual behaviors to achieve the same level of satisfaction.
Negative Consequences: Your sexual behaviours have led to problems in your personal or professional life, such as conflicts with partners, difficulties at work, or financial strain.
Distress: You experience feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety related to your sexual behaviours but continue engaging in them anyway.
Withdrawal: You experience emotional or physical withdrawal symptoms when unable to engage in sexual activities.
If you recognize these signs in yourself, it is time to come and speak to David.
Can sex addiction be cured?
While there isn’t a simple “cure” for sex addiction, it can be effectively managed with appropriate treatment and support. Recovery from sex addiction typically involves a combination of therapy, support groups, lifestyle changes, and sometimes medication. Here are some approaches to managing sex addiction:
Therapy: Neurotherapy, psychotherapy, and other forms of counselling can help individuals identify underlying issues contributing to their addiction, develop coping strategies, and learn healthier ways of managing their impulses and behaviours.
Support Groups: Joining support groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or seeking peer support can provide individuals with a sense of community, understanding, and accountability as they work towards recovery.
Lifestyle Changes: Making changes to one’s lifestyle, such as avoiding triggers, establishing healthy boundaries, and finding alternative ways to cope with stress or emotions, can be instrumental in managing sex addiction.
Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to address underlying mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, which can contribute to sex addiction. David has a close working relationship with a psychiatrist who specialises in this area.
Relapse Prevention: Learning to recognize triggers, developing relapse prevention strategies, and having a support network in place are essential for maintaining long-term recovery.
While recovery from sex addiction is possible, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s a journey that requires ongoing effort, commitment, and self-awareness. With dedication to treatment and support, individuals can learn to manage their addiction and lead fulfilling lives.
Taking the first step and contacting David today could save your life, your family or your marriage.
How does sex addiction affect relationships?
Sex addiction can seriously impact relationships in many ways, often leading to strain, conflict, and emotional distress for both partners. Here’s how sex addiction can affect relationships:
Trust Issues: Constantly seeking sexual gratification outside the relationship can erode trust between partners, leading to feelings of betrayal and insecurity.
Communication Breakdown: Secretive behaviour around sexual activities can hinder open and honest communication in the relationship, making it difficult for partners to address issues effectively.
Emotional Distance: The focus on sexual activities outside the relationship can create emotional distance between partners, leading to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and detachment.
Intimacy Issues: Sex addiction may lead to a lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship, as the addict may prioritize physical gratification over emotional connection with their partner.
Deterioration of Relationship Quality: Constant preoccupation with sexual behaviors can lead to neglect of the relationship, resulting in a deterioration of overall relationship quality and satisfaction.
Conflict and Resentment: The impact of sex addiction on the relationship can often lead to frequent arguments, resentment, and feelings of inadequacy or rejection from the non-addicted partner.
Overall, sex addiction can significantly strain relationships, jeopardizing trust, communication, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction. Seeking therapy and support is crucial for both partners to address these challenges and rebuild trust and intimacy in the relationship.
David is a registered couple and family therapist, and has been helping couples manage sex addiction for over twenty years. You and your partner deserve the help of an expert. Most therapists are ill equipped to help couples with sex addiction, despite advertising that they are.
Sex Addiction Help Dublin, Ireland
For more information on our recovery program please contact us by email on avalonrc@gmail.com today.
Sex Addiction Help in Dublin, Ireland
Men
8O% of people seeking treatment for sex addiction are men.
Male sex addicts tend to focus on sexual objectification, through
pornography, prostitution, voyeurism and anonymous sex.
Women
2O% of people seeking treatment for sex addiction are women.
Female sex addicts often use sex for power, through pain-exchange
sex, role play and fantasy, seduction and trading sex.
Sex Addiction Is A Coping Mechanism, a Way to Manage Unwanted Feelings.
50% of clients have mental health problems, 38% have experienced emotional abuse, 17% have experienced sexual abuse, 16% have experienced physical abuse, 46% have recently lost an important relationship, 27% reported sexual dysfunctions, 20% have strong suicidal thoughts.
Up to 1 in 25 People Suffer from Sex Addiction
People Suffering from Sex Addiction (Hypersexuality) May Engage In:
Pornography, Having sex with prostitutes, Sadistic or masochistic behaviour, Compulsive masturbation or fantasy, Having sex with strangers, Compulsive heterosexual or homosexual relationships, Exhibitionism and voyeurism, Sexual Urges, Obsession, Denial.
How do I know if I am a Sex addict?
Unlike healthy sex, addicts often use sex or compulsive masturbation as a means of:
– Coping
– Dealing with stressful situations
– Tackling anxiety or boredom
And in some cases, it can make the addict feel more powerful.
Behaviours of a sex addict:
In his book, ‘Out of the shadows’, Dr. Patrick Carnes Ph.D, helps to define sexual addictive behaviour. Carnes writes that sexual addiction is often found in one or more of the following 3 categories;
Secretive: The most common of the three categories, is when an addict keeps his or her activities completely separate from their everyday lives. The addict will often find themselves completely wrapped up in lies and manipulations. In many cases they feel their behaviour is justified and are lying to those they are close with and to themselves.
Shameful: This is when the addict feels an inner sense of worthlessness and will often spend a huge amount of time and money soliciting sex in order to feel worthy.
Abusive: This can range from voyeurism to rape. With abusive addicts it is often the case that there is a history of violent behaviour and acting out.
David offers a bespoke therapy service for partners. Text him on Whatsapp at 0868989086 for more information.
10 questions to help someone identify if they have a porn or sex addiction
In today’s digital age, access to pornography and sexual content is easier than ever before. While exploring one’s sexuality is a natural and healthy part of life, for some individuals, it can escalate into problematic behaviors indicative of porn or sex addiction. Recognizing the signs of addiction is the first step toward seeking help and reclaiming control over one’s life. Here are ten questions to help someone assess whether they may be struggling with porn or sex addiction:
- Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time consuming pornography or engaging in sexual activities, to the point where it interferes with your daily responsibilities and relationships?
- Have you made unsuccessful attempts to cut back or control your consumption of pornography or sexual behaviors, only to find yourself returning to them compulsively?
- Do you experience feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse after engaging in pornography or sexual activities, yet find yourself unable to stop despite these negative emotions?
- Have you noticed a tolerance to sexual stimuli, leading you to seek out more extreme or novel forms of pornography or sexual experiences to achieve the same level of arousal?
- Do you find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of pornography or sexual activities, constantly planning or fantasizing about your next encounter?
6. Have you experienced adverse consequences as a result of your pornography or sexual behaviors, such as relationship conflicts, legal issues, or negative impacts on your physical or mental health?
7. Do you use pornography or sexual activities as a coping mechanism to escape from stress, boredom, loneliness, or other unpleasant emotions?
8. Have you neglected important aspects of your life, such as work, school, or personal hygiene, in favor of engaging in pornography or sexual behaviors?
9. Do you experience withdrawal symptoms when attempting to abstain from pornography or sexual activities, such as irritability, anxiety, or depression?
10. Have your pornography or sexual behaviors caused distress or concern among your loved ones, friends, or healthcare professionals?
If you find yourself answering “yes” to several of these questions, it may indicate that you are struggling with a porn or sex addiction. It’s essential to remember that addiction is a complex and multifaceted issue, and seeking professional help is often necessary to address underlying psychological, emotional, and behavioral factors contributing to the addiction.
Recovery from porn or sex addiction is possible with the right support and resources. Therapy, support groups, and specialized treatment programs tailored to addressing sexual addiction can provide individuals with the tools and strategies they need to overcome their addiction and rebuild a healthy relationship with sexuality.
Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for recovery. Taking the first step toward acknowledging the problem and seeking help is a courageous act that can lead to profound transformation and healing.
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David offers a bespoke therapy service for partners. Text him on Whatsapp at 0868989086 for more information.
About Us
David Kavanagh is a Systemic Psychotherapist.
There are four key reasons to use a systemic approach with sex addiction:
Holistic Approach:
Systemic psychotherapy takes a holistic approach, considering the individual within the context of their relationships, family, community, and society. This approach recognizes that addiction is not solely a personal problem but can also be influenced by systemic and environmental factors.
Focus on Relationships:
Addiction often affects the individual’s relationships with others. Systemic psychotherapists focus on exploring and addressing the dynamics of these relationships, including family, friends, and other social networks. They aim to support the individual in developing healthier relationships that can aid in their recovery.
Collaborative Approach:
Systemic psychotherapy is a collaborative approach, where the therapist works with the individual and their family or support network to understand and address the addiction. This approach can be particularly helpful in engaging family members or other support systems in the recovery process.
Strengths-Based:
Systemic psychotherapists focus on the individual’s strengths and resources, rather than solely on their weaknesses and problems. This approach can be empowering for individuals struggling with addiction, helping them to build their confidence and resilience.
David Kavanagh BA.Th, H. Dip. P.S., F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over ten years now. David is a Registered Systemic Family therapist with over twelve years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction. David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more. David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis. David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy)
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy), Post Grad Certificate in Bereavement Counselling, MSc, Systemic Psychotherapy) has almost forty years’ experience of working with children and families. She started her career working with children and their families whose lives had been catastrophically impacted by the first wave of heroin addiction. Since then she has worked in a variety of child and family settings, always with a keen interest in ensuring that the child’s views are heard within the family dynamics. Liz also volunteered her expertise as a Systemic Psychotherapist to a Community Addiction Service and was invited to become a Director of that service. Liz has 8yrs experience as a Systemic Psychotherapist and is passionate in her support of children, adolescents and adults to help them work through the difficulties they are experiencing.
David Kavanagh
BA.Th H. Dip. P.S. F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over twenty years now. David is a Registered Systemic
Family therapist with over 25 years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction.
David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more.David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis.
David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
.
David Kavanagh
BA.Th H. Dip. P.S. F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over ten years now. David is a Registered Systemic
Family therapist with over twelve years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction.
David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right
treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more.David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis.
David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
.
Liz Wilson
Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy)
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy), Post Grad Certificate in Bereavement Counselling, MSc, Systemic Psychotherapy) has almost forty years’ experience of working with children and families.
She started her career working with children and their families whose lives had been catastrophically impacted by the first wave of heroin addiction.
Since then she has worked in a variety of child and family settings, always with a keen interest in ensuring that the child’s views are heard within the family dynamics.
Liz also volunteered her expertise as a Systemic Psychotherapist to a Community Addiction Service and was invited to become a Director of that service.
Liz has 8yrs experience as a Systemic Psychotherapist and is passionate in her support of children, adolescents and adults to help them work through the difficulties they are experiencing.
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Are you struggling with a sex addiction?
Sex therapist – Offers Professional Advice
While the idea of seeing a sex therapist seems scary for most people, there is nothing to be afraid of! David has successfully worked with hundreds of couples. While most of these couples were initially nervous about opening up about their sex lives, or lack of, they always reported on how happy they were once they sought help.
David offers professional advice. He realises that this subject can be a touchy one for most and so strives to make his sessions comfortable, non-judgemental and of course confidential.
Why wait for the Bad Times? Get Couples Therapy Today!
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What is a Sex therapist?
Sex therapy can be described as therapy or counselling that focuses mainly on physical or psychological problems that people experience in relation to sex.
The evolution of Sex therapy:
The introduction of sex therapy into psychology practices has been around since the 1960’s. Doctor’s William Masters and Virginia Johnson researched and published articles on a new approach to dealing with sexual problems in a therapeutic manner.
It was thought that the main exposure of sex information was coming directly (and in force) from the media. “People see movie stars rolling around, having the time or their lives and think that this is how it must be for everyone but themselves” Says David. “We don’t have any information given to us in our education systems and even doctors don’t really give us the information we need,” David continues. “They know everything about our anatomy but that’s usually where it stops. There is very limited information out there that lets us know whether the problems we are experiencing in the bedroom are normal. That’s where taking to a sex therapist can really help couples”.
What to expect from sex counselling:
Be prepared to talk:
You and your partner will be asked lots of questions. While the subject matter may be explicit, it will never be vulgar.
It is important that you speak your mind, try to bear in mind that you are paying for the counselling session, so try to make the most of it and get everything out in the open.
Be prepared to work on it:
While David will offer his professional insight and advice on your problems, it will ultimately be you that implements the change. Embrace the session and please don’t feel as if any question is silly.
David will not judge you at all, he takes his line of work seriously and is committed to providing a professional service to his clients.
How do I know if we need to see a sex therapist?
Although one or both of a couple may be embarrassed by the thought of airing their sexual difficulties in front of a stranger, it is important to remember that the therapist is a professional who has probably heard it all before (a hundred times over!). David often is able to shed light on the problem that the couple is facing within a couple of sessions, so surely it is worth some initial nerves in order to salvage your sex life.
Sex therapist – Offers Professional Advice
Usually the reason couples initially seeks professional help is because one of the party loses their sexual libido.
Some other prevalent reasons people seek David’s help are:
- Sexual inhibitions,
- Sexual differences (both people aroused by different things),
- Premature ejaculation,
- Difficulty in reaching orgasm,
- Disagreements on how often is normal,
- Intercourse that is painful,
- Breakdown in communication between the couple
Many therapists urge couples who begin to experience some of these problems in the bedroom to seek help from a sex counsellor. The sooner a couple gets professional advice, the sooner they will feel like whatever problem they are facing is normal. It is better to nip any issues in the butt before they cause any lasting damage to the relationship.
Testimonials
Jason
Dublin
"My life was out of control. I was spending up to 8 hours a day watching porn at the weekend. Recently that changed to contacting Escorts and making fake bookings. Then it all came crashing down around me when my wife checked my phone. David is now working with us both to figure out if there is a way we can save our marriage. Without his help I probably would not be here."
Karl
Galway
"I thought it was normal to go to prostitutes because I am single. I also thought it was normal to masturbate 4 times a day. I went to David for therapy because some part of me was not happy with the way I was living my life. After a few sessions I came to realise that I am actually a sex addict. I am now in treatment, doing good, and while every day is a struggle, I still feel that there is hope for me. I don't want to be single, I am tired of being alone. I feel more positive now than I have done for years."
Claire
Cork
"Women can't be sex addicts or addicted to porn, or so I thought. But there I was using dating apps to fill the void in my life. Meeting men and having casual sex seemed harmless until it wasn't. I always felt empty afterwards. I read online that casual sex is not that good for us, so I went to see David about it. He helped me to realise that I was addicted to dopamine and all the other chemicals flooding my brain. I like his approach. He is warm and friendly and understands me. He never judges me even when I have a slip up. I value his support a lot."
David offers a bespoke therapy service for partners. Text him on Whatsapp at 0868989086 for more information.
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