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What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction is a condition characterized by an individual’s persistent and escalating pattern of sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviours that become overwhelming and disruptive to their daily life and relationships. These behaviours may include excessive pornography consumption, masturbation, casual sex, or seeking out multiple sexual partners.
People with sex addiction often experience a lack of control over their sexual impulses, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and distress. They may spend significant amounts of time and money on sexual activities, neglecting responsibilities, work, or family obligations in the process. Despite negative consequences, such as relationship problems, legal issues, or health risks, individuals with sex addiction find it challenging to stop their behaviour.
Are You Losing Control Over Your Sexual Behaviour?
Many men who reach out say things like:
“I promised myself I’d stop… but I can’t.”
“I’m living a double life.”
“I hate what I’m doing, but I keep going back.”
“If my partner found out, I’d lose everything.”
“I feel ashamed, but I feel trapped.”
Sex addiction often shows up as:
- Compulsive pornography use
- Excessive masturbation
- Paying for sex
- Affairs or anonymous encounters
- Risk-taking sexual behaviour
- Obsessive sexual thoughts
- Escalating behaviours that feel increasingly out of control
Over time, this can lead to:
- Relationship breakdown
- Loss of trust
- Anxiety, depression, and isolation
- Financial damage
- Career consequences
- Deep shame and self-loathing
But here’s the truth most men never hear:
Sex addiction is not a moral failure.
It’s a treatable psychological and neurological condition.
Why This Is Happening (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
Modern neuroscience now shows that repeated exposure to high-stimulation sexual material (especially online pornography) literally rewires the brain.
Over time, the brain becomes:
- More impulsive
- Less capable of self-control
- More dependent on sexual stimulation for emotional regulation
- Less responsive to real intimacy
Many men use sex and pornography to cope with:
- Stress
- Loneliness
- Anxiety
- Emotional pain
- Trauma
- Low self-worth
This becomes a cycle:
Pain → Acting Out → Shame → Promises to Stop → Relapse → More Shame
The good news?
The brain can heal. Behaviour can change. Recovery is absolutely possible.
Meet David Kavanagh
Specialist in Sex Addiction & Relationship Recovery
David Kavanagh is one of Ireland’s most experienced professionals working in the area of sex addiction and relational healing.
- Registered Systemic Psychotherapist
- Over 25 years clinical experience
- Over 20 years specialising in sex addiction
- Worked with thousands of individuals and couples
- Degree & Higher Diploma (Maynooth University)
- Specialist understanding of brain-based addiction models
- Works closely with a psychiatrist specialising in sexual disorders where medication support is appropriate
David’s approach is:
- Non-judgmental
- Confidential
- Structured
- Evidence-based
- Focused on real-life change
Most importantly:
He understands how deeply private this struggle is for men — and how difficult it is to ask for help.
How Do You Know If You Might Have a Problem?
You might recognise yourself if:
- You’ve tried to stop but keep relapsing
- Your behaviour has escalated over time
- You’re hiding things from your partner
- You feel guilt, shame, or self-disgust after acting out
- Your behaviour is affecting your relationship or work
- You feel emotionally dependent on porn or sex
- You feel anxious, irritable, or low when trying to stop
If several of these apply, it’s time to take a closer look.
👉 Book your Confidential Assessment Today-Email avalonrc@gmail.com
This Is Treatable — And You Can Recover
Effective recovery usually includes:
- Specialist therapy for sex addiction
- Understanding triggers and patterns
- Learning emotional regulation
- Rebuilding self-control
- Developing healthy coping strategies
- Accountability structures
- Relapse prevention
- Support for partners
- In some cases, psychiatric support for compulsivity
Men who commit to the process often report:
- Freedom from compulsive behaviour
- Restored relationships
- Reduced shame
- Improved mental health
- Rebuilt confidence
- A sense of integrity again
You can become the man you want to be again.
Sex Addiction Can Destroy Relationships — But Recovery Can Rebuild Them
Sex addiction commonly leads to:
- Betrayal trauma for partners
- Breakdown of trust
- Emotional withdrawal
- Conflict and resentment
- Loss of intimacy
- Fear and insecurity
David specialises not only in working with men, but also in:
- Supporting partners
- Working with couples
- Rebuilding trust
- Repairing emotional connection
“Most therapists are not trained in sex addiction. Many unintentionally make things worse. This work requires specialist understanding.” – David Kavanagh
You and your relationship deserve expert care.
Sex Addiction Help Dublin, Ireland
For more information on our recovery program please contact us by email on avalonrc@gmail.com today.
Sex Addiction Help in Dublin, Ireland
Men
8O% of people seeking treatment for sex addiction are men.
Male sex addicts tend to focus on sexual objectification, through
pornography, prostitution, voyeurism and anonymous sex.
Women
2O% of people seeking treatment for sex addiction are women.
Female sex addicts often use sex for power, through pain-exchange
sex, role play and fantasy, seduction and trading sex.
Sex Addiction Is A Coping Mechanism, a Way to Manage Unwanted Feelings.
50% of clients have mental health problems, 38% have experienced emotional abuse, 17% have experienced sexual abuse, 16% have experienced physical abuse, 46% have recently lost an important relationship, 27% reported sexual dysfunctions, 20% have strong suicidal thoughts.
Up to 1 in 25 People Suffer from Sex Addiction
People Suffering from Sex Addiction (Hypersexuality) May Engage In:
Pornography, Having sex with prostitutes, Sadistic or masochistic behaviour, Compulsive masturbation or fantasy, Having sex with strangers, Compulsive heterosexual or homosexual relationships, Exhibitionism and voyeurism, Sexual Urges, Obsession, Denial.
How do I know if I am a Sex addict?
Unlike healthy sex, addicts often use sex or compulsive masturbation as a means of:
– Coping
– Dealing with stressful situations
– Tackling anxiety or boredom
And in some cases, it can make the addict feel more powerful.
Behaviours of a sex addict:
In his book, ‘Out of the shadows’, Dr. Patrick Carnes Ph.D, helps to define sexual addictive behaviour. Carnes writes that sexual addiction is often found in one or more of the following 3 categories;
Secretive: The most common of the three categories, is when an addict keeps his or her activities completely separate from their everyday lives. The addict will often find themselves completely wrapped up in lies and manipulations. In many cases they feel their behaviour is justified and are lying to those they are close with and to themselves.
Shameful: This is when the addict feels an inner sense of worthlessness and will often spend a huge amount of time and money soliciting sex in order to feel worthy.
Abusive: This can range from voyeurism to rape. With abusive addicts it is often the case that there is a history of violent behaviour and acting out.
Support for Partners
David also provides specialist support for partners of sex addicts, including:
Betrayal trauma support
Emotional stabilisation
Boundary-setting
Understanding addiction dynamics
Individual sessions
For confidential enquiries:
📱 Text David on WhatsApp: 086 898 9086
10 questions to help someone identify if they have a porn or sex addiction
In today’s digital age, access to pornography and sexual content is easier than ever before. While exploring one’s sexuality is a natural and healthy part of life, for some individuals, it can escalate into problematic behaviors indicative of porn or sex addiction. Recognizing the signs of addiction is the first step toward seeking help and reclaiming control over one’s life. Here are ten questions to help someone assess whether they may be struggling with porn or sex addiction:
- Do you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time consuming pornography or engaging in sexual activities, to the point where it interferes with your daily responsibilities and relationships?
- Have you made unsuccessful attempts to cut back or control your consumption of pornography or sexual behaviors, only to find yourself returning to them compulsively?
- Do you experience feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse after engaging in pornography or sexual activities, yet find yourself unable to stop despite these negative emotions?
- Have you noticed a tolerance to sexual stimuli, leading you to seek out more extreme or novel forms of pornography or sexual experiences to achieve the same level of arousal?
- Do you find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of pornography or sexual activities, constantly planning or fantasizing about your next encounter?
6. Have you experienced adverse consequences as a result of your pornography or sexual behaviors, such as relationship conflicts, legal issues, or negative impacts on your physical or mental health?
7. Do you use pornography or sexual activities as a coping mechanism to escape from stress, boredom, loneliness, or other unpleasant emotions?
8. Have you neglected important aspects of your life, such as work, school, or personal hygiene, in favor of engaging in pornography or sexual behaviors?
9. Do you experience withdrawal symptoms when attempting to abstain from pornography or sexual activities, such as irritability, anxiety, or depression?
10. Have your pornography or sexual behaviors caused distress or concern among your loved ones, friends, or healthcare professionals?
If you find yourself answering “yes” to several of these questions, it may indicate that you are struggling with a porn or sex addiction. It’s essential to remember that addiction is a complex and multifaceted issue, and seeking professional help is often necessary to address underlying psychological, emotional, and behavioral factors contributing to the addiction.
Recovery from porn or sex addiction is possible with the right support and resources. Therapy, support groups, and specialized treatment programs tailored to addressing sexual addiction can provide individuals with the tools and strategies they need to overcome their addiction and rebuild a healthy relationship with sexuality.
Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for recovery. Taking the first step toward acknowledging the problem and seeking help is a courageous act that can lead to profound transformation and healing.
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David Kavanagh is a Systemic Psychotherapist.
There are four key reasons to use a systemic approach with sex addiction:
Holistic Approach:
Systemic psychotherapy takes a holistic approach, considering the individual within the context of their relationships, family, community, and society. This approach recognizes that addiction is not solely a personal problem but can also be influenced by systemic and environmental factors.
Focus on Relationships:
Addiction often affects the individual’s relationships with others. Systemic psychotherapists focus on exploring and addressing the dynamics of these relationships, including family, friends, and other social networks. They aim to support the individual in developing healthier relationships that can aid in their recovery.
Collaborative Approach:
Systemic psychotherapy is a collaborative approach, where the therapist works with the individual and their family or support network to understand and address the addiction. This approach can be particularly helpful in engaging family members or other support systems in the recovery process.
Strengths-Based:
Systemic psychotherapists focus on the individual’s strengths and resources, rather than solely on their weaknesses and problems. This approach can be empowering for individuals struggling with addiction, helping them to build their confidence and resilience.
David Kavanagh BA.Th, H. Dip. P.S., F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over ten years now. David is a Registered Systemic Family therapist with over twelve years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction. David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more. David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis. David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy)
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy), Post Grad Certificate in Bereavement Counselling, MSc, Systemic Psychotherapy) has almost forty years’ experience of working with children and families. She started her career working with children and their families whose lives had been catastrophically impacted by the first wave of heroin addiction. Since then she has worked in a variety of child and family settings, always with a keen interest in ensuring that the child’s views are heard within the family dynamics. Liz also volunteered her expertise as a Systemic Psychotherapist to a Community Addiction Service and was invited to become a Director of that service. Liz has 8yrs experience as a Systemic Psychotherapist and is passionate in her support of children, adolescents and adults to help them work through the difficulties they are experiencing.
David Kavanagh
BA.Th H. Dip. P.S. F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over twenty years now. David is a Registered Systemic
Family therapist with over 25 years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction.
David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more.David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis.
David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
David Kavanagh
BA.Th H. Dip. P.S. F.T.P
David Kavanagh has been monitoring the impact of sex addiction in Irish Society for over ten years now. David is a Registered Systemic
Family therapist with over twelve years experience working with clients dealing with a range of issues including sex addiction.
David believes that we are just now starting to get a grip on the true nature of Sex Addiction thanks to new brain research that shows us how our brain chemistry is being re-wired through our porn and sex addictions. David is very clear that with the right
treatment, sex addicts can recover and go on to live normal lives once more.David has worked with thousands of couples preparing them for marriage and dealing with marriages in crisis.
David holds a Degree and a Higher Diploma from Maynooth University.
Liz Wilson
Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy)
Liz Wilson (Mont. Dip. B.A. (Psy), Post Grad Certificate in Bereavement Counselling, MSc, Systemic Psychotherapy) has almost forty years’ experience of working with children and families.
She started her career working with children and their families whose lives had been catastrophically impacted by the first wave of heroin addiction.
Since then she has worked in a variety of child and family settings, always with a keen interest in ensuring that the child’s views are heard within the family dynamics.
Liz also volunteered her expertise as a Systemic Psychotherapist to a Community Addiction Service and was invited to become a Director of that service.
Liz has 8yrs experience as a Systemic Psychotherapist and is passionate in her support of children, adolescents and adults to help them work through the difficulties they are experiencing.
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Are you struggling with a sex addiction?
Sex therapist – Offers Professional Advice
While the idea of seeing a sex therapist seems scary for most people, there is nothing to be afraid of! David has successfully worked with hundreds of couples. While most of these couples were initially nervous about opening up about their sex lives, or lack of, they always reported on how happy they were once they sought help.
David offers professional advice. He realises that this subject can be a touchy one for most and so strives to make his sessions comfortable, non-judgemental and of course confidential.
Why wait for the Bad Times? Get Couples Therapy Today!
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What is a Sex therapist?
Sex therapy can be described as therapy or counselling that focuses mainly on physical or psychological problems that people experience in relation to sex.
The evolution of Sex therapy:
The introduction of sex therapy into psychology practices has been around since the 1960’s. Doctor’s William Masters and Virginia Johnson researched and published articles on a new approach to dealing with sexual problems in a therapeutic manner.
It was thought that the main exposure of sex information was coming directly (and in force) from the media. “People see movie stars rolling around, having the time or their lives and think that this is how it must be for everyone but themselves” Says David. “We don’t have any information given to us in our education systems and even doctors don’t really give us the information we need,” David continues. “They know everything about our anatomy but that’s usually where it stops. There is very limited information out there that lets us know whether the problems we are experiencing in the bedroom are normal. That’s where taking to a sex therapist can really help couples”.
What to expect from sex counselling:
Be prepared to talk:
You and your partner will be asked lots of questions. While the subject matter may be explicit, it will never be vulgar.
It is important that you speak your mind, try to bear in mind that you are paying for the counselling session, so try to make the most of it and get everything out in the open.
Be prepared to work on it:
While David will offer his professional insight and advice on your problems, it will ultimately be you that implements the change. Embrace the session and please don’t feel as if any question is silly.
David will not judge you at all, he takes his line of work seriously and is committed to providing a professional service to his clients.
How do I know if we need to see a sex therapist?
Although one or both of a couple may be embarrassed by the thought of airing their sexual difficulties in front of a stranger, it is important to remember that the therapist is a professional who has probably heard it all before (a hundred times over!). David often is able to shed light on the problem that the couple is facing within a couple of sessions, so surely it is worth some initial nerves in order to salvage your sex life.
Sex therapist – Offers Professional Advice
Usually the reason couples initially seeks professional help is because one of the party loses their sexual libido.
Some other prevalent reasons people seek David’s help are:
- Sexual inhibitions,
- Sexual differences (both people aroused by different things),
- Premature ejaculation,
- Difficulty in reaching orgasm,
- Disagreements on how often is normal,
- Intercourse that is painful,
- Breakdown in communication between the couple
Many therapists urge couples who begin to experience some of these problems in the bedroom to seek help from a sex counsellor. The sooner a couple gets professional advice, the sooner they will feel like whatever problem they are facing is normal. It is better to nip any issues in the butt before they cause any lasting damage to the relationship.
Testimonials
Jason
Dublin
"My life was out of control. I was spending up to 8 hours a day watching porn at the weekend. Recently that changed to contacting Escorts and making fake bookings. Then it all came crashing down around me when my wife checked my phone. David is now working with us both to figure out if there is a way we can save our marriage. Without his help I probably would not be here."
Karl
Galway
"I thought it was normal to go to prostitutes because I am single. I also thought it was normal to masturbate 4 times a day. I went to David for therapy because some part of me was not happy with the way I was living my life. After a few sessions I came to realise that I am actually a sex addict. I am now in treatment, doing good, and while every day is a struggle, I still feel that there is hope for me. I don't want to be single, I am tired of being alone. I feel more positive now than I have done for years."
Claire
Cork
"Women can't be sex addicts or addicted to porn, or so I thought. But there I was using dating apps to fill the void in my life. Meeting men and having casual sex seemed harmless until it wasn't. I always felt empty afterwards. I read online that casual sex is not that good for us, so I went to see David about it. He helped me to realise that I was addicted to dopamine and all the other chemicals flooding my brain. I like his approach. He is warm and friendly and understands me. He never judges me even when I have a slip up. I value his support a lot."
Support for Partners
David also provides specialist support for partners of sex addicts, including:
Betrayal trauma support
Emotional stabilisation
Boundary-setting
Understanding addiction dynamics
Individual sessions
For confidential enquiries:
📱 Text David on WhatsApp: 086 898 9086
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